(no subject)

I'm amused by this. Probably only because I watched both Two Towers and A&E's Pride and Prejudice over my vacation.

Austen writes LOTR

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a Dark Lord in possession of a desire to rule the world must be in want of a ring.

"My dear Frodo," said Gandalf to him one day, "are you aware that the One Ring has been found at last?"

Frodo replied that he was not.

"But it has," returned Gandalf, "for I've just been to Minas Tirith to read the old records, and they told me all its history."

Frodo made no answer.

"Do you not want to know who possesses it?" Gandalf cried impatiently.

"You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it."

This was invitation enough.

"Well, dear Frodo, you must know, Saruman has always said that the One Ring was lost forever in the River Anduin. But it turns out a young hobbit-like creature of small fortune found it in the river five hundred years ago, and was so much delighted with it that he took possession immediately."

"What was his name?"

"Gollum."

"Uncle Bilbo's Gollum?"

"Oh! Yes, dear Frodo! Do you not see what this means? Why, dear Bilbo's ring is the very one the Dark Lord is seeking! What a fine thing for you!"

"How so? How can it affect me?"

"My dear Frodo, how can you be so tiresome? You must know I think of your destroying it."

"It is more than I engage for, I assure you."

"But consider the world. Indeed you must destroy it, for it will be impossible for us to be free if you do not."

"Well, I hope you get over it, and see many rings of power come into the Shire."

"It will be no use to us if twenty such should come, if you will not destroy them."

"Depend upon it, dear Gandalf, when there are twenty, I will destroy them all."



It came from here