(no subject)
Sep. 17th, 2005 01:53 amSo I have just had, what could quite possibly be, one of the worst weeks of my life. If you read
schwa242's journal, you know that part of it that makes everything else pale in comparison, but suffice it to say that my Boston life is somehow managing to compete as a comparable emotional drain at this point (but only because it's coming from two fronts).
I just...yeah, really, I don't know. Just happy this week is over cause it sucked beyond the telling of it. There were rants and tears and more rants and more tears (some of the tears at work which is all kinds of awkwardness) and I just ... nope still don't know....
I think the problem is that on the little issues I'm too close and on the big issue I'm too remote and that may not make sense to most (if not all) of you, but there it is.
I have memories of stories but not memories of events. I have memories of impressions.... a laugh. A smile. And yeah, we may not have been in contact that much and we may not have been that close but to know...to really know that there will be no more of that laugh...no more of that smile...
OK, enough tears for this week.
The next one will be happier, I promise. But for now...well sometimes a girl needs to wallow.
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I just...yeah, really, I don't know. Just happy this week is over cause it sucked beyond the telling of it. There were rants and tears and more rants and more tears (some of the tears at work which is all kinds of awkwardness) and I just ... nope still don't know....
I think the problem is that on the little issues I'm too close and on the big issue I'm too remote and that may not make sense to most (if not all) of you, but there it is.
I have memories of stories but not memories of events. I have memories of impressions.... a laugh. A smile. And yeah, we may not have been in contact that much and we may not have been that close but to know...to really know that there will be no more of that laugh...no more of that smile...
OK, enough tears for this week.
The next one will be happier, I promise. But for now...well sometimes a girl needs to wallow.