Random Musings

Waiting for my boss to get in and give me some stuff to do. I'm an executive assistant, so when the executive isn't here and I get caught up on all my work I get to sit and twiddle my thumbs, or write to live journal.

Had a pretty good weekend. Spent Saturday doing photography stuff...haven't had a chance to really play with my new camera since I got it for graduation. Wish I had the time and money to really get into it, but in the meantime I must remember to set more time aside for play.

Sunday I had so many plans to be productive. Run errands, write in my journal, write some letters etc. However, one errand was to the library where a book I had on hold had come in so all my plans went up in a cloud of pages. Good book though.

Hmmmmm...turns out the boss isn't going to be in until after lunch. Guess I should take an early lunch as well. What sucks is in the afternoon I'm supposed to work down in customer service. But there's all this stuff I have to go over with the boss and he isn't here the whole morning. Grrrrrr.

What else to ramble on about. My birthday is coming. This is my first birthday at home in years. I'm looking forward to it. My friend is throwing me a party at her house (my house wouldn't work to well seeing as I live with my parents). Should be a blast. I'll be sure to tell all sorts of stories about it sometime next weekend.

Guess that's enough rambling. I'll try to see if there's any work for me to do elsewhere.

Hiding

I've noticed that I've been avoiding journaling, both here and in my physical journal. Usually when I have avoided writing in the past it's because there's something I'm trying not to think about and I know that writing will open up the issue to all sorts of analysis and mental poking and prodding.
So what have I been avoiding thinking about...gee let me think about that. I don't like thinking about what's going on and all the implications. Thinking about it...I don't know how to describe it, it feels almost like a black hole opening in my chest and I just want to sink into myself and just leave a gaping hole. Does that make any sense? I've been hiding from the news, taking it in only in small doses. We're going to attack other countries, you say? Oh bliss...what was that article I put in earlier...

"We're flirting with a world war between Islam and the West.
And guess what: That's bin Laden's program. That's exactly what he wants. That's why he did this. Read his speeches and statements. It's all right there. He really believes Islam would beat the West. It might seem ridiculous, but he figures if he can polarize the world into Islam and the West, he's got a billion soldiers. If the West wreaks a holocaust in those lands, that's a billion people with nothing left to lose; that's even better from Bin Laden's point of view. He's probably wrong -- in the end the West would win, whatever that would mean -- but the war would last for years and millions would die, not just theirs but ours.
Who has the belly for that? Bin Laden does. Anyone else?" - Tamim Ansary

Oh good. Just what I want to think about. Terrorist attacks, world war and hey...let's add anthrax. Excuse me, I have a blanket I need to go hide under.