taerowyn: (Zoe)
So I have just had, what could quite possibly be, one of the worst weeks of my life. If you read [livejournal.com profile] schwa242's journal, you know that part of it that makes everything else pale in comparison, but suffice it to say that my Boston life is somehow managing to compete as a comparable emotional drain at this point (but only because it's coming from two fronts).

I just...yeah, really, I don't know. Just happy this week is over cause it sucked beyond the telling of it. There were rants and tears and more rants and more tears (some of the tears at work which is all kinds of awkwardness) and I just ... nope still don't know....

I think the problem is that on the little issues I'm too close and on the big issue I'm too remote and that may not make sense to most (if not all) of you, but there it is.

I have memories of stories but not memories of events. I have memories of impressions.... a laugh. A smile. And yeah, we may not have been in contact that much and we may not have been that close but to know...to really know that there will be no more of that laugh...no more of that smile...

OK, enough tears for this week.

The next one will be happier, I promise. But for now...well sometimes a girl needs to wallow.
taerowyn: (Happy Beluga)
Failed to mention, I watched the partial eclipse on Monday. Pretty nifty. We (my dad and I) used the old backwards binoculars trick. He wanted to try his big humongous telescope but a) we weren't sure if it would work and b) he's lost the screws that attch it to the tripod somewhere in his office (in itself a celestial body i.e. a blackhole) There was about 40% coverage.

I think this is one of my favorite things about my dad. Even when I'm not living at home he'll be sure to tell me to check out this meteor shower or that comet. It's just so...my dad.
taerowyn: (Angry kitty)
'Cause I know you guys just can't get enough of these.

Anyway, last week, the boss decided he wanted to compare our weekly revenue trends to the DOW. So he has me place it in a spreadsheet then subtract this amount, multiply by this amount, shift it over by a few weeks and, I quote, "manipulate the data until it fits." And four years of science education reared back and hissed. He was so proud when a correlation showed up. I tried to tell him that if you fix the data, yeah there will be a correlation, but he didn't want to hear it. So after he left I ran a correlation test on the undoctored numbers. It was almost statistically significant, but not quite, and close just doesn't count in statistics. I think he just wants to use anything to calm himself over the fact that business sucks right now because the economy sucks right now. THere's a correlation for him.

Then, I took Friday off because my grandmother's out and she, my mom and I were going to have a girl's day. At 8:30 I wake up to our answering machine beeping away. I try to roll over and ignore it, but it's hard to ignore incessant beeping once you've been made aware of it. Sure enough, it's the office needing help finding something. SO I call in. "Oh, it's ok, we found it." "What were you looking for?" "Oh the labels we use to label the inventory." Now anybody who has read my journal can guess where they found these supplies. Yep, you got it, in the supply closet. So basically they called me sometime between 7 and 8:30 on my day off when any normal person would be asleep, to find something that should be (and was) in the first logical place to look for it. These people are too dependent, they need to grow up and learn to function on their own!!

OK, rant over.
taerowyn: (Horny Caught)
Had a girls' night with Mom and her friends on Tuesday. My single status came into question. What is it about poeple with Significant Others trying to make sure everybody else has one too? Yes, I'm single. But guess what, I don't put any effort into not being single because I have yet to meet anybody worth the effort. Heck, I barely put any effort into meeting people.

I'm single and I like it about 97% of the time. The other 3% is either when people are a) grilling me on why I'm single, b) trying to set me up with "this really great guy, he lives in Kansas, he's bald...you should let him send you a picture, we already sent him yours." c) those occassional moments, usually occuring around happily married friends or while watching sappy movies when I think "Gee, that would be nice." But really most of the time I'm good being single, that's why I make no effort to change it. It's just not a priority in my life at the moment. Why can't some people just accept that? And think, I'm not even 25 yet. What are people going to be like if I'm still single in a decade?

Of course, maybe it's not that I put in no effort. We could go to the explanation of my two closest guy friends who combined have told me I am scary, intimidating and abrasive. Possibly I am these things because I'm not trying my darndest to "catch myself a man." Who knows. I'll put in the effort when I find a guy who isn't intimidated. How's that sound?
taerowyn: (Default)
Went to the CSU "Take Back the Night" rally and march last night. It was quite the experience. When one of the speaker's asked how many people had, or knew somebody who had been sexually assaulted 95-99% of the 150+ crowd raised their hands (yours truly included).

But what really got to me were all the testimonials. I mean this kind of thing is something I've always known about intellectually, but this really drove it home. And it drove home how very lucky I am that I do only know about it intellectually. But the worst, the absolute worst, was the number of times brothers and uncles and fathers entered into the stories. I just wanted to go home and give my dad a big ol' hug.
taerowyn: (devil)
Just got a call from my mom "If you're looking for the phone when you get home, you won't find it; it's in my purse."

Ah, the trials and tribulations of a cordless phone.

Hee Hee

Feb. 15th, 2002 08:31 am
taerowyn: (Kitty)
Nothing to say, was just playing with icons. Look what I made!!!

Oh wait, can share a funny valentine story. Checked the mail yesterday and there was a card addressed to my dad and his ex-wife. Hmmmmm. It was an anniversary card (Dad and his ex were married on Valentine's) from a rather forgetful relative. Forgetful to the point that he's sending an anniversary to a dead woman and the man who divorced her and has been married to somebody else (my mom) for almost 29 years. It's a good thing Mom has a good since of humor.


Feb. 4th, 2002 10:48 am
taerowyn: (Default)
My mom has even figured out delayed action ways to get on my nerves. As described previously, she has been getting on my nerves of late.

Yesterday evening we got home from a movie and all I wanted to do was curl up in my bowl chair and read, but no she had to be on the computer with the tv on as well. So, I go to my room and I can still hear the tv...i ask her to turn it down and she does only to turn it up when the heat comes on and leave it up when it shuts off again. So I ask her again to turn it down and she gets all pissy. I'm sorry if you're so deaf you need the tv at full volume, but I feel I should be able to be in my room with my door closed and not have to listen to Ally McBeal while I read. It would be ok if it was just background noise, but I can't concentrate if I can understand the words which I could, quite clearly. Grrrr!

So, in order to escape her noise I go upstairs to the living room. Guess what? She STILL has it so loud I can understand every word! So I end up in her bedroom on her bed, and then she has the gall to come upstairs and ask why I'm in there.

So today, I'm thinking "Yeah, house-to-myself time when I get back from work." Which, considering how irritatted I have been with her of late, I am sorely in need of, but no. She called me at work this morning to tell me she took "a goof-off day" and will be home all day including those precious few hours from when I get home to when she normally arrives. I think my head is going to explode!!
taerowyn: (Default)
In an "eh" kind of mood of late. Just don't feel connected to anything recently. Work...it's a job. I've always had clear definitions of a job vs. a career. This is definitely just a job. Add in the fun staff turmoil that's going on and why should I bother investing anything of myself into it?

Family? Well, I'm worried about my Dad, but only moderately so as now that he's off the medication all seems well. My mom is driving me up the wall. When she's feeling lazy, I finish her work and run her errands, when I'm feeling lazy, I finish her work and run her errands. Grrrr. Doesn't exactly put me in a "bonding" mood. And I only see my brother if I stop by the coffeeshop or if he comes over to do laundry.

Friends? I've already discussed the CO friend situation way back when. Hasn't really improved. Yes there are four or five people I see on a semi-weekly basis, but we really don't connect on too much except the past. Where is the connection about here and now and even the future. Of course, that fact that my here and now is so echoingly vacuous may have something to do with that, I mean what do I have to share...work sucks, family is "eh," I'm not accomplishing anything creatively and all in all life is bland.


Jan. 11th, 2002 03:16 pm
taerowyn: (Default)
Dod Gamn Fother Mucking Bon of a Sitch!!!!!!!!! (Yes I can say that just as fast as the regular way) If he doesn't end up killing himself, I'M going to kill my father. Just got a call from mom, because she just got a call from dad. Apparently he spent 3 hours in the Boulder emergency room today. Yeah, Dad! Let's go on a tour of the emergency rooms of northern Colorado. They think it was just leftover reaction from yesterday...great, so how long are these "leftovers" going to last. Probably didn't help that he decided to go to work even though he was told to rest. The man needs to learn how to take care of himself. He's got the healthy eating and excercise thing down, now let's just work on the getting rest when you need to, listening to your doctors, and knowing when to take a break. GAH!!!

Sorry, had to vent. Anyway, Schwa, don't panic, he is on his way home right now and we are under strict orders not to berate him, tempting though it may be. I think I'll hide his car keys AND his computer this weekend. He is going to REST this weekend, goddamnit!
taerowyn: (Default)
It's very unsettling to receive phone calls on the lines of "It's Mom, I'm in the emergency room with your Dad." Ok, so it was an allergic reaction to something and he's fine, is reacting well to treatment,will be home in a few hours, etc. But it's still unsettling and makes it exceptionally hard to concentrate on work.
taerowyn: (Default)
I guess I have to add to the mass ammounts of posts "What I did/got on my holidays." Yes, I am a sheep.

Saturday was finishing my shopping and helping the folks prepare for the party.

Sunday was the party. I had a good time, but I felt bad for my folks; the only people who came were my friends and our neighbors. All of their friends called to cancel as they were sick.

Monday I went and saw Lord of the Rings. MMMMMMMMMMM good movie! Despite sitting front row center and getting a bit of the IMAX nauseous effect on some of the scenes it was a highly entertaining movie. The only drawback...how long until the next one?!?! Sigh, patience never was one of my virtues. That night was our traditional Christmas Eve dinner at Youngs. Ever so yummy! When we first started going (about ten years ago) we were practically the only people there. This year we had to wait a half hour despite having reservations. We are such trendsetters. That night I began to get the inklings of things to come.

Sure enough, Tuesday morning I had a knock down, dragged out head cold/flu type crappiness. My body felt like it had spent the night in an industrial dryer. Ah well, it WAS Christmas so things weren't all bad. Waited for Schwa and Mez to come by and then had our present fest. Got lots of books and CDs, almost three copies of Sims Hot Date (Schwa found out I'd gotten it already so quickly exchanged it for House Party), clothes, etc. Basically your Christmas standards. Nothing too mind-boggling exciting, but all quite satisfying.

Yesterday I was supposed to be back at work, but I could barely expend the energy to sit-up so I spent the day reading, watching movies and playing on the computer. Saw Legally Blonde..amusing. Watched Fat Man and Little Boy. Rather depressing film about the Los Alamos project during WWII. The kind of movie that makes you wish you had a time machine so you could go back in time and slap some people around.

Hope all of you hade good holidays and were in better health than I.
taerowyn: (Default)
I think the fact that it's just two weeks until Christmas has finally hit. The things I have to get done...!!! Not pancing quite yet, but give me time.

Company Christmas party is Friday. Schnazzy french restaurant in Berthoud of all places. How do you get a practically four-star restaurant in BERTHOUD?! Anyway, many thanks to big brother Schwa for saving me from being set up by my boss by agreeing to come with me. My boss had the "great" idea that I should be set up with one of the company's ex-employees who is currently driving one of my co-workers insane by "always being around." Not really the best promotional pitch I've heard for the set-up of a blind date. Besides, who really wants to be set-up by their boss? So many thanks, Schwa. There's actually going to be a few siblings there from what I understand. It will be interesting to meet the families of my coworkers.

Going to bake all sorts of cookies this weekend. I love baking, but my mom and I (foolishly) agreed to a cookie exchange, which means, besides the cookies I have to make for the family, I have to make 6 dozen more for the cookie exchange. Good thing I like to bake.

Also have to get out shopping. I don't think I've ever put off Christmas shopping for this long. I'll have to wait for my paycheck on Thursday and then a-shopping I will go. I have no idea what to get anybody, so we'll see how I do.

Aren't the holidays fun?
taerowyn: (Default)
Haven't had a "real" update for awhile, but I've been busy. Happily busy thanks to eeyorekdm's visit. Showed her the sights and sounds of Ft. Fun. Oh and tastes...lots and lots of food and drink. And yes, we were merry.
Since her departure things have slowly reverted back to normal. That first Monday back at work was not a happy occassion but ce la vie.
Was over at a friends house playing poker on Saturday. I won, naturally. I think gambling must be some sort of genetic thing in my family. At least on my mom's side.
Afterwards, the hostess was doing readings with "Medicine Cards," basically a Native American kind of Tarot cards. Her boyfriend decided that he didn't need a reading as he already knew that his spirit animal was a banana slug. He pointed out that everybody always has some sort of noble animal spirit like the wolf or the eagle. Nobody has some sort of coral as their animal spirit...or a stinkbug, something like that. Along the same lines we discussed how people discuss past lives and they're always some warrior in the Crusades or Joan of Arc or something. I'd like to see somebody say that in their past life they were a ditchdigger, a chamberpot cleaner, the guy the king stepped on to get into his carriage...something like that.
Saw Ghost World last night. Possibly not the best movie to see in my current state of angst, boredom and general dissatisfaction, but too late now. I did like it though. Afterwards I got to watch schwa242 tatoo mezdeathhead. I was the girl with a bazillion questions. I have yet to meet my tatoo rule in order to get one, but I think I may be a little closer than I was before last night.

Oooooooo It's lunchtime!!

End of Day

Nov. 14th, 2001 03:31 pm
taerowyn: (Default)
Ahhhh the end of the work day draws near. Although we didn't receive a single order today, I still accomplished quite a bit. I prepared and packed up 50 copies of our latest book and will be taking them to Mail Boxes Etc. to ship out today. I hate going there because I'm always dropping off mass quantities of stuff that they make no profit on because we already pay for it here (either with our postage meter or on our FedEx account). Guess I could work on the theory that hey, that's their job, but I still feel a touch guilty.

So now, with everything accomplished, I am fully planning on spending my last half hour goofing off on the web. Don't condemn me too much, other than "straightening up" there really is NOTHING I can be doing. No orders to fill, all the bulk mailing is done, the temp is stuffing envelopes, I've finished all my projects and everybody has left for the day so there's nobody I can assist in anything. I be done. Now I get to go home and clean...not such a bad prospect, both my car and my room desperately need it.

OH! The fax is ringing, perhaps it will be an order and I will have something to do instead of this random stream of consciousness typing.

No such luck, it's some random essay assignment for one of the women who works here. Odd.

Haven't been out and about much as of late. Last time I went out was Sunday night for coffee and pizza with friends. One friend brought her 18-month-old daughter...too cute. My mom would be happy to hear that I am beginning to waiver a bit on my "NO CHILDREN" stance. I think a large part of that is that I have found myself interested in a career I could manage. I firmly believe in raising kids yourself, sans daycare etc. It just seems to me that a lot of problems arise when parents aren't there for the kids. Don't get me wrong, my brother and I were "latch-key" kids from ages 11 and 7 respectively, but for the years before that Mom was ALWAYS around and I think that meant a lot. So, because of this belief I never wanted kids because, let's face it, I'm just too selfish to give up a large part of my life (i.e. my career) for years on end. But if I do end up becoming a journalist, hopefully I can freelance for those key years, watching the kid(s). This makes me happy because, truth be told, I do adore kids, and the thought of raising one, seeing him/her experience things for the first time, reading it all my beloved books from youth, and just having that kind of a connection with someone...

Not that I'm ready and rearing to go or anything. My mom wants grandkids ASAP, she just doesn't want me or my brother having kids anytime soon. I try to explain the inherent problem with this view, but you try using logic with my mom :oP

Guess I've rambled enough and should start closing up shop here. Enjoy your evening all and if you get the chance, get yourself hooked on West Wing...don't we wish the White House was such.
taerowyn: (Default)
Well, my birthday weekend is drawing to a close and I am quite content to bid it a fond farewell. I had fun, but it's time to return to normal (and sobriety).
The party was a blast and entertaining on so many levels. It was nice to see all my different groups of friends put aside their differences and manage to co-exist contentedly under one roof for a few hours. In fact, the party actual saw the healing of some old wounds between some of my friends...I am, as ever, living up to my Switzerland-ness of high school.
Drank a little too much, but then it was my birthday, and nothing my liver wasn't capable of handling in the following 12 hours. Schwa and Mezdeathhead were kind enough to put in an appearance despite Mez's pain-filled week. I think they had fun as well, interacting with my wacky friends.
Yesterday was family celebration. Went to see Bandits. An amusing little film if I do say so myself. The actors put in some really good performances and the film was quite entertaining.
Then dinner where the waitress was someone I went to high school with (Big city/small town aspect of Fort Collins, yet again). Got into quite a little debate over current events, Schwa and I against the parents. Could have gone better, but didn't turn out too bad, which is good.
That's about it, going to laze about today (already read a book) and try not to focus on the fact that I have to go back to work tomorrow.
taerowyn: (Default)
Aren't lunch breaks nice? Just an hour in the middle of the day with nothing to do. My problem is I eat at my desk in about 15 minutes so I just start working again when I'm done. I need to start utilizing the whole hour for "me time." Hence Why I'm journaling from work and really don't have much to say.
Went to the Highland festival on Saturday, IN THE SNOW! It's not even the middle of September and there was snow! You'd think this was Colorado or something. Sorry, but after 4 years in Long Island where a couple of flakes causes EVERYTHING to shut down. It was nice to be in a place where people just correctly assume that a parade and outdoor festival will continue despite several inches of snowfall. Of course the downside was it was snowing during the festival so I didn't get to do as much as I had hoped. I told my folks that we could leave early if they wanted and I'd be OK with that and for the most part I was. But I am a little upset that I missed the concert. Ever since coming back from Ireland, I've missed the trad sessions at the pubs and would have liked to sit down to some live music instead of being stuck listening to all of my Irish CDs. Ah well, I go thome to where it was warm and curled up with a good book so all was well.
Schwa242 and his partner in crime mezdeathhead came over for dinner last Friday. Lots of laughs and innuendos (Hey, sailor...). Wish they'd visit more often hint, hint, hint
Guess I should return to the reality of my job for the rest of the afternoon. Ta ta. (I hate people who say that...other than me :-P )


taerowyn: (Default)

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